And it's enormous!

I am now Communications and Publications Manager. Try saying that after three gins. I have a team of six, once one has been recruited, and a portfolio the size of Sudan. And about the same budget (I mean about the same size as Sudan's got to spend on looking after itself - i.e. not massive).

Internal and external comms. My gang. Prospectus. My gang. Corporate publications, My gang. Digital marketing. My gang. Databases. My gang. Market intelligence. My gang. Photography and video - yup it's us.

But, it's more management experience. I'm on a management training programme, so more free qualifications, and I get a pay rise.

It's not what I wanted and I had to fight tooth and nail for what I eventually got, but it's more cash to pay the fuel bills and help cover the cost of taking on the house.

Like a good girl I faced the music and had another chat with Nibs last night and broached the subject of his moving out. He didn't look best pleased but he didn't protest either.

He seems to accept it's all over and we're just living together as friends just now.

So - all action over here, though hellishly difficult to keep it all together. I find everything emotional exhausting - thank god for yoga and pilates at dinner times, I get a little ocean of calm in the chaos.

But bearing up and going to be a damned sight more careful with my mobile from now on. Must stop careering around like I'm on castors and try to hang onto some of that inner calm i get a glimpse of now and again.