A friend at work was proudly showing off photos of her daughter's wedding this afternoon while I was brewing up in the kitchen.

'Oh, I like your hat,' I said. 'Or should I say fascinator?'

(For those not au fait with modern wedding outfit get-up, a fascinator is a mini hat which attaches itself to the side of a female's head. In truth it looks like someone's collided with an ostrich, but they are very much the thing for weddings, ladies' day race meets etc)

'Yes,' said mother of the bride. 'My brother-in-law made some comment about me attacking a sparrow but his sister said "Oooh, I like your fantasiser!".'

'Ah, the fantasiser, that comes with batteries doesn't it?'

'That's the one,' she said.'I told her they stock those in Anne Summers, beside the bunnies.'