So I say to His Highness: 'Look, we've been together like forever. 4ever if you want to flirt with textspeak, but we're way past that, babes, aren't we? We are forever.

'You know I love you. If this house were on fire it would be you I'd come for first. Together, forever, you and me. it's a done deal. No doubt.

'But here's the thing. I can't sleep and I look at you and I remember how we slept together like angels and I just think, well... you know...

'I know you're 40 now and you're a bit delicate and me rolling on you in the night isn't really what you want but indulge me.'

And so I took a 40 year old bear called Tinker to bed with me on Wednesday night. And yes I woke up at 4am but stubbly fur and a familiar smell of dust and bear took me back off to sleep. And then on Thursday same thing; woke up but fell asleep again. And Friday - awake at 4am, off again till 6am with the bear.

So now i'm sleeping with a 40 year old bear called Tinker. Doesn't say much, obviously. Has this stern little glare and is on the bristly side of cuddly but is working and has to be better for me than Nightnurse.

Hurrah for Tinker. And no, I don't lend him out!